Friday, January 16, 2009

Late To The Party: Twilight  

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Film: The wife and I went to see Twilight tonight, after long delay. We had made plans to see it at least three other times, and for one reason or another we were never able to make it until now. Our long-awaited mutual impressions of the film: OMFG.
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I had originally picked up the book to read for myself when it had just begun its rise to the top, but the wife got to it before I did (I should never have left it on the shelf unattended) and as soon as she finished the first book, she went out and bought the second. When the second was done, the third, and the fourth not long after. She didn't fall in love with the books the way that most of female America seems to have, although she found them quite readable and entertaining. After seeing her devour all four books in short order, I decided to hold off until I had enough free time to read the series back-to-back… and as a result, I haven't even read one page yet.
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Anyway, there's not much to say about the film. The direction was atrocious, with too many moony-eyed scenes of the main characters gazing into each other's face. Some of the most “dramatic” moments actually had the audience laughing out loud, and the romance itself was limp and unbelievable. The wife's take on the direction was that all of the important scenes were accounted for, but all of the stuff holding it together didn't make it… sort of like what happened to the first few Harry Potter films.
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The acting was stiff, unbelievable, and utterly uncompelling. The two leads didn't seem at all comfortable or natural with each other or themselves, and I certainly didn't buy either of them as relatable young people in love. Everything was so stiff and stilted, and with some of the bizarre mugging that I guess was supposed to be emoting, it was almost as though I was watching a parody of a vampire film instead of something that has allegedly captured the hearts of so many across the country.
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Twilight was by far one of the worst films I've paid money for in quite some time, and after seeing the result I can certainly understand why the director refused to sign on board for the sequel… she should be ashamed of the drek she turned out. If it wasn't for the hard-core devotion of the massive Twilight fan base, this film would've disappeared after its opening weekend into a big, black hole of unrecovered cost.
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As crappy as the movie was, I still plan on getting around to reading the actual books, though... I mean, hey-- nothing could be worse than what we just sat through.
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