Saturday, February 23, 2008

::Light Snoring Continues::  

Just a lazy day at home today... first one the wife and I have had in a while. It's really nice to not have any obligations, not need to be anywhere, and just toss our schedules out the window...even if it's for only 24 hours (or 48 if we're really lucky.)

However, the idyllic scene was shattered by a knock at the door.

I figured it'd be UPS or the mailman needing a signature or something, but it turned out to be a homeless man who had grabbed a stack of free weekly papers from some untended kiosk, and was pretending to be raising funds for the local high school.

Launching into a pre-prepared speech about how “the kids are working so hard" and how my neighbor was “such a generous guy, he gave $25 and you've got to keep up with the Joneses", I sniffed this guy’s scam out in about three seconds and told him politely that I wasn't interested.

I expected him to maintain the fa├žade and go along his way, but as soon as he realized he wasn't going to get a cash handout on the spot, he got nasty.

"You're the only deadbeat on this block, you ain't even gonna give me nothin’?”

At this point, I started to get pissed and told him to start stepping. He walked straight through my front yard, cussing as he went, but he left.

I give the guy points for trying to be a little more creative and enterprising than the wastes of space who stand on streetcorners by busy intersections or freeway offramps, but to go up to someone's house, disturb them, and then start hassling them when all they've done is stay inside and keep to themselves -- that just takes the cake.

I'm having a trapdoor put in under our welcome mat next thursday. The hungry alligators that will inhabit the water pit underneath come the following tuesday.

What next?

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